Say Something, I’m Giving Up On You

When you feel like giving up.

This journey is full of ups and downs, just when you think you have cracked it, found a way to keep moving, keep smiling. A word, a situation, a feeling makes me feel like I’m back to the beginning finding a way through.

Its been months of feeling good, feeling hopeful and boom, here I am again, hit by waves of sadness and loss. Who do I talk to, they are gone, who can I relate to? who can relate to me? who can understand?

There are people in my life who have lost a parent, lost a friend, lost a sibling, lost a relationship, but how do I deal with loosing all, loosing all at once?

Say something I’m giving up on you…. What is my you, life, joy – I know deep inside that I will once again find a way through (not sure there is ever a way out) but right now, life, say something because I’m giving up on you.

I have done all I know to do, said all I know to say but I will continue on this journey one step at a time, one moment at a time.

My lesson, each day is a new day, no day will ever be the same as the last, but I cannot get complacent, the work is a daily one, even when I don’t want to I must, I shall. What is my work, finding joy in the small things, being grateful for all I have, even if its for my legs for getting me out of bed.
But for right now, most importantly to me right now is to show myself kindness, I have not failed, I have not let myself down, I am living my life as it currently stands.

Its so easy to isolate, this has been my greatest temptation, weary of the chatter, what feels like meaningless conversations. Listening to the complaints (valid for each individual) for right now, to me, so far from my own reality.

“I will stubble and fall, I’m still learning to love, just starting to crawl”

So world, please say something, show me something, because I’m giving up on you.

I AM CHRISTYNETTE

I AM TRUTH